The Dry Snitch – you know this person. He or she gathers bits of incriminating information and runs to the boss to rat you out. Or you may have known them as a sibling who told mommy about your late night misadventure with the parents’ car in exchange for some reprieve of their own.
You know these people and don’t much care for them. It’s not that you condone the criminality of their victims. No, you just feel that churning in the gut at their scummy tendency to screw you over or rat out your friends. You recognize the dry snitch lacks integrity; there is no inner core. They snitch for base reasons, not for the common good. It’s for retaliation. Or it’s a sinister diversion from their own misdeeds.
Donald J. Trump is a dry snitch.
You’re not surprised. In the spectrum of the Special Counsel’s investigation, Trump has two switches: effusive praise for people like Paul Manafort – the fellow with a deep well of damning knowledge locked between his lips – and condemnation for anyone who cooperates.
The other night, Trump pointed the finger at Micheal Cohen’s father-in-law on Judge Jeanine’s show and showed everyone the meaning of a dry snitch. He showed that he’s no better than a grammar school punk who snitches on his buddy to swing the light of accusation off himself and onto another.
Here’s what he said – after condemning the NY Times, former FBI Director James Comey, FBI agents, Hillary Clinton, the Washington Post, Jeff Bezos, Amazon, President Obama, the “Russia thing” and Robert Mueller – and profusely complimenting himself:
14:28 Jeanine begins talking about “Little Adam Schiff” and Jerry Nadler “dragging in” Cohen for testimony.
Look, I was a client of his. You’re supposed to have lawyer-client privilege but that doesn’t matter because I’m a very honest person frankly. He’s in trouble on some loans and fraud and taxicabs I know nothing about. And in order to get his sentence reduced, he says: ‘I have an idea, I’ll give you some information on the president.’ Well there is no information. But he should give information maybe on his father-in-law, because that’s the one people want to look at, because where does that money, that’s the money in the family. And I guess he didn’t want to talk about his father-in-law. He’s trying to get his sentence reduced. So it’s pretty sad. You know it’s weak. And it’s very sad to watch a thing like that. I couldn’t care less.
Donald J. Trump, the guy inhabiting the Oval Office and posing as the U.S. President, is a rat. Worse than that, he’s a gutless, stupid rat. Yes, Cadet Bone Spurs, whose Daddy paid off a crooked podiatrist to get him out of the draft, is frightened of the food he eats and the company he keeps, not to mention responsibility for the crimes he’s committed. And to evade responsibility, he concocts a stupid scheme to point the finger at a family member of the man about to give sworn, public testimony revealing his crimes. In this, Donald is especially witless. He is burying himself. He has yet to recognize that Michael Cohen has nothing to lose and everything to gain by exposing the lying, gutless, criminal rat in the White House. By threatening the father of his spouse, Donald has given Michael more motivation to come clean, not less.
It’s a wonder that Donald has made it as far as he has, emerging from the stench of the NY mafia and the Russian mafiya, where he has shown no honor even among the thieves of his environs. If this were a movie, the pinkie finger of one of his sons would have been delivered to him in a cardboard box with a note from Semion reminding him to keep his mouth shut. Or some unfortunate New Yorker would’ve spotted his own dismembered head floating in the Hudson. Yes, it’s a wonder. How did they keep Donald from snitching?