The Sadist

She refused to tell me her name but I can identify her in a lineup. She’s a sadist. She enjoys inflicting pain. Cruelty is second nature to her. She likes seeing pain in the eyes of those who depend upon her. She is most likely mentally ill.

The facility – my prison – needs to get rid of her immediately. She will kill someone. I believe she has already harmed at least one patient. At the very least she is going to be a legal liability.

I met the sadist on my second or third night. I recall her peering into my face as if sizing me up. I was still needy, still vulnerable, still in pain. In other words, I was a perfect victim for this coward with a thrill for pain.

She was my assigned  CNA for the evening. The first act of cruelty came when she pulled my walker six feet away from me and directed me to get up and walk. That of course was impossible because I had just had surgery on my leg. I told the nurse what she had done and the sadist denied it.

Around 9:00 p.m., shortly after I’d fallen asleep, she burst into the room and loudly announced that she had to take my vitals. She roughly pulled at my right hand to put on a blood pressure cuff.

I have one of these at home, and I know that all she needs is my arm and very little cooperation from me to perform this task. Nevertheless, we had an exchange of words. She pulled off the cuff before taking my blood pressure and bolted out of the room, telling the nurse in the hallway that I refused treatment. That was a lie. But she was establishing me as an uncooperative patient. The nurse entered my room and told me that because of covid, they were required to take my vitals every four hours. My blood pressure was measured. This was a needless hullabaloo about nothing.

At some point in the night I hit the magic buzzer for assistance. The sadist came in after awhile, stood several feet away from my bed and asked what I wanted.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” I told her. She did not budge. “I need your help,” I said. “I can’t move my leg.”

Again, the nurse had to come in and help me out of bed, into my wheelchair, roll me into the bathroom, onto the toilet seat, then off the toilet seat into my wheelchair and back into bed.

At some point in that long, excruciating night, the nurse began following the sadist in my room.

At no time during that night did the sadist ever provide me with requested assistance. She did her damnedest to hurt me.

I believe she hurt the patient directly across the hallway from me. It was between 2:00 and 3:00 a.m. and I heard a female voice apologizing to one of the patients in that room. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” There was no response from the patient. However the very next morning, an ambulance was called to that room. I heard the crew discussing the injuries: broken bones. The patient was taken by ambulance to the hospital. I have no proof that the sadist hurt this individual . But I would not be the least bit surprised to learn that she had.

Around 3:00 a.m., the nurse, by now exhausted with having to do the sadist’s job in addition to her nursing duties, said to me, “I’m going to have to file a report.”

“Good,” I said, “I’m reporting it too.”

That was likely not the response the nurse expected.

My long night with the sadist finally ended. I have not seen her since. I reported her cruelty to a therapist, who told me to tell the unit manager. At that time I had no idea who the manager was or how to contact her.

The sadist has not reappeared. I am hoping she has been terminated.

This is my second stay in a rehab facility. The idea of sadists among the staff is not new. Management must take this phenomena  extremely seriously. Prior to any employment, a psychiatric evaluation and/or mental health analysis must be completed. This applies primarily to those staff who work directly with this population – the CNAs, NAPs and Unlicensed Assistive Personnel found in these facilities. In most states, there are abuse hotlines for reporting sadists such as my CNA. Nurses are also required to report such abuse. I am hopeful that when my nurse said she was going to file a report, that this is the report she filed.

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